The past week has been a whirlwind of activity, with our large family (my parents had six children), usually spread out between the South and North Island of New Zealand, Australia, Germany and the Netherlands congregating in one city. It was a wonderful week together, but my heart, mind and soul is also yearning for rest.
This morning, I successfully stepped out of bed without waking my youngest and have been able to read, sit, reflect and wonder at God’s creation. We are currently staying in one of the most beautiful places in the world with my little sister, surrounded by majestic mountains. And yet, my mind has been in overdrive, blinded to that which lies before me.
This morning I read further in A.W. Towzer’s Knowledge of the Holy and it reminded me of my experience two years ago, not far from here. It is then that God’s powerful Presence broke open my heart, as I surveyed His Creation in utter wonder. It was as if the mountains, lake and skies oozed His Presence and as if they enveloped me in Love.
Psalm 143: 4 – 6 (The Message)
I sat there in despair, my spirit draining away,
my heart heavy, like lead.
I remembered the old days,
went over all you’ve done, pondered the ways you’ve worked,
Stretched out my hands to you,
as thirsty for you as a desert thirsty for rain.
That’s why if someone were to ask me why I believe what I do, I cannot tell them by talking in terms of the intellect because for me all human reasoning cannot fully fathom the God who has been revealing Himself to me.
“We think more loftily of God,” says Michael de Molinos, “by knowing that He is incomprehensible, and above our understanding, than by conceiving Him under any image, and creative beauty, according to our rude understanding.”
A. W. Tozer, Knowledge of the Holy, p.17
It is when I still to look that I see Him everywhere and in seeing Him everywhere, both my heart and mind open in wonder. The thoughts that had clouded my mind moments ago, dissipate. The ache that had been numbed into oblivion, rises.
“Let me seek Thee in longing,” pleaded Anselm, “let me long for thee in seeking; let me find thee in love, and love thee in finding.”
A. W. Tozer, Knowledge of the Holy, p.18
My heart begins to yearn after that which my mind cannot decipher, a God who is:
Darkness to the intellect But sunshine to the heart.
A. W. Tozer, Knowledge of the Holy, p.10
Yes, it is good to seek Him with our intellect, to study Him with our minds, but that study can only stretch so far. Our incomprehensible, majestic, holy God is beyond all human fathoming.
And for me, that thought stirs a knee-bending wonder, eyes to see, ears to hear and a heart full of yearning.
Jeremiah 23: 23-24
“Am I not a God near at hand”—God’s Decree—
“and not a God far off?
Can anyone hide out in a corner
where I can’t see him?”
“Am I not present everywhere,
whether seen or unseen?”